Silent Amaya

So, I’m not even really sure what to say, or really I’m not sure how to say it and where should I start. Obviously the best place to start would be the beginning, so this year has been great so far, my classes are good, my roommates are awesome and practically all of my friends are living in the same dorm building. I’ve even made some new friends this year as well, mostly upperclassmen. One of the new friends I’ve made this year, I’ve developed a crush on and this is where I’m having a hard time figuring out what to say or how I should say it. 

He’s a really nice guy (with his jerk-like moments but isn’t that with most guys?), funny, smart and I just have a good time when I’m with him. There have been moments where I’ve thought that maybe he might like me as well but I’m not sure because as it turns out he’s the touchy-feelly type of guy, but I still feel like there are times where he does something to make me think he might like me. We’ve had moments where we’ve cuddled watching a movie or he’ll pull me into a hug. Of course there are also times where I feel like he doesn’t really want to be around me. One of my friends is trying to play match-maker for me but even she’s not sure because he’s the touchy-feelly type.

Anyway the more I hang out with him, the more I like him (at our school’s Halloween dance I was so tempted to kiss him) and I’m just not sure what to do. A part of me is wanting to go ahead and tell him how I feel but I’ve had so many moment where I told a guy that I liked him and he didn’t reciprocate those feelings that I felt so embarrassed that I have no confidence. Not only that but if he doesn’t reciprocate my feelings I don’t want to ruin our friendship because he’s a great guy and I have a lot of fun with him that I just don’t want it to all be thrown away.

I’m taking my friend’s advice and trying not to let it get to me too much but there are still those days where I want to throw all common sense away, go up to him and kiss him (if only life were like a romance novel/movie) but of course I don’t have enough guts to do that…well yet. Who knows maybe I’ll end up reaching my breaking point and I’ll do it. For now though I’m just going to go on with my life and see what happens. Maybe I’ll gain enough courage to actually tell him how I feel, and who knows maybe he’ll end up feeling the same way. I can only hope.

(Source: silentamaya)

Only ten more days until my best friend Lexi comes to visit from California and after that only 12 more days until I move back to school. I’m excited to see my best friend again, it’s been almost two years since she left and I’m looking forward to this visit.

Of course I’m also excited to head back to school and see all of my friends again and move into my new dorm. I can tell that this year is going to be better than last year, and not just because I am no longer a “freshie.” No, this summer I have attempted to do what I have done every summer since I entered high school: lose some weight, gain some muscle and return to school looking and feeling beautiful and confident. The only difference from this summer than every other summer, I’m starting to see results.

For the past five years my weight has stayed somewhere between 135 t0 140 lbs. with no hope of ever seeing the numbers go lower, at least that’s what I believed. I tried cutting out sweets and exercising more to lose weight but I’d always end caving in and eating anything chocolatey and the exercises so boring that eventually I’d skip a few days until I stopped all together. 

This summer though I did things a little differently. Instead of cutting out sweets and sugar all together, I found alternatives that were both delicious, healthy, and helped satisfy my chocolate cravings. I also started paying more attention to portion sizes and I didn’t go for seconds after every meal. I also bought Zumba for the Wii and started doing that practically every day. I have lost around 5-6 lbs and currently weigh 132 lbs. My goal is to weigh 120 lbs so I have another 12 lbs. I’m certain that I’ll be able to lose the weight and keep it off even when I return to school.

(Source: silentamaya)

So I was just writing down some of the upcoming assignments, projects and meetings (along with the spring long weekend) and I realized that after this month I’ll only have two weeks left of school. To think that I will have gotten through my freshman year of college is, well, it’s hard to believe. This year seems to have gone by so fast that it feels just like yesterday I was moving in and meeting my roommate. This year has been full of so many ups and downs, some things I wish I could change and others I wouldn’t. 

These next few weeks will most likely be stressful as I have a lot to do but I know I’ll find a way to manage. I just have to make it till the Spring Long Weekend and afterwards everything will be smooth sailing…well as smooth as it can be with finals just around the corner. 

Anyway I just wanted to express my feelings about how this school year has gone by so fast. Despite the problems I’ve had with my roommate and our “friends” this has been a good year and I’m really looking forward to next year when I’ll be living in the new (well it’s now a year old) dorm. Which reminds me my group and I were able to get into the dorm we wanted and not only that but we managed to snag one of the last rooms that had four singles so we each get our own room! :) 

(Source: silentamaya)

skyyundertheseaa asked: Glad you got the dorm situation figured out. Remember, PICTURES!! :3

Thanks and of course, I won’t forget!! :3

Okay so in one my post “Running Out of Options” I wrote that I wasn’t sure who I was going to room with, well that has now been taken care of. My friend who applied to be an R.A. didn’t get the position (my neighbor; however, did and I don’t think he really deserves it…he’s admitted that he’s going to be a total ass) and another friend from our classes! 

We were having a hard time trying to find a fourth roommate (it’s required since the suites house a minimum of four students) but one of my friends texted me saying she found a fourth roommate. It was someone I had met a few times before, she’s a sophomore going into her junior year. She’s really nice and the four of us got together today to discuss which dorm we want to live in. I want to live in the new dorm they built just last year and so do the others. Our fourth roommate is actually living there right now and she says it’s really nice and she wouldn’t mind rooming there again. She just wants to shoot for one of the four single suite rooms but if not she’ll settle for the two-single and one-double room. Right now she’s living in a two-single, one-double and it’s not that she doesn’t like it, it’s just that her next year is going to be stressful and she’ll need a quiet place to study, which is understandable. 

Anyway even if we do get the one-double and two-singles then we’ll give one of the singles to her and the other to one of our other friends. My friend (the one who wanted to become an R.A) and I said we wouldn’t mind sharing the double with someone so we’ll most likely take it. I’m just happy that we’ve got that situation cleared up. Nothing new between my current roommate and our friends (well some of our friends) she now spends every other night somewhere else. I don’t know for sure where but I’m pretty sure I know and whenever she is here we don’t really talk. Honestly, I’m okay with it though, although she’s still nice to me, if she was a real friend, she would have put up more of an effort to include me (especially when I introduced her to some of our friends). A part of me wants to say she stabbed me in the back, after all one of my so-called “friends” did that to me. The so-called friend was at my orientation and we got to know each other a bit and I introduced her to my roommate. After a while she started hanging out with my roommate more and well if you’ve read some of my previous entries, then you know the rest. 

Anyway, yeah, my roommate isn’t in our room much anymore, which I’m okay with because I like having the room to myself. The good thing is there’s less than two months left of school then I’ll be back home for the summer. But right now I’m just glad to have the roommate situation solved and now I can’t wait for housing selection on Sunday! I hope we get the room we want! 

(Source: silentamaya)

skyyundertheseaa asked: http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lh8t5oPQxW1qexlepo1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0RYTHV9YYQ4W5Q3HQMG2&Expires=1298893702&Signature=UyDXcB8BQfFv3LkUgeZveAUEVPA%3D

Haha you should do number 5 to Kyle XD

Haha I’ll definitely think about it. The only problem is I don’t have the supplies to make a sandwich